Genevieve Roberts explores the hot topics and parenting issues she encounters while raising her three children – two daughters and one son – in her weekly column, Outnumbered.
I was looking back over baby photos of my eldest daughter Astrid and was struck by how we used to wear matching stripes. I’d completely forgotten how I’d coordinate our outfits during those first months of parenthood, when my entire world and focus slowed to follow the rhythm of my newborn daughter.
Eight years on, with three children and a partner, that slow rhythm has accelerated as we play, work, learn – and mainly try to turn up to the right place with the right combination of us at the right time. The only coordination I’m used to is persuading everyone to sleep matching hours, which seems to rely on a healthy dollop of luck.
But matching outfits for parents and kids are having a fashion moment thanks to Princess Catherine and her 10-year-old daughter Charlotte, who regularly wear complimentary outfits, and I wonder if we can have a second wind.
Of course, matching is not a new phenomenon among the much-photographed: we saw Beyoncé coordinate in gold for her 12-year-old daughter Blue Ivy’s premiere of Disney’s Mufasa last December, and regularly throughout her childhood, from matching floral dresses in 2017 to her 2021 monochrome Adidas collection. The Kardashians have long created family looks, while Serena Williams and her daughter Olympia coordinate sports and spectator gear.
If you visit parks and outdoor music events this summer, especially in areas where the royals are considered fashion icons, chances are you’ll spy families dressed as a clan, as if ready to be photographed. It’s a far cry from the 1980s, when there was “slight moral panic” that adults were inspired by their children’s clothes. “There was concern that adults were in joggers and trainers, which made them look like children,” says childhood scholar Deniz Arzuk.
Celia Muñoz, founder of La Coqueta children’s clothing brand, created its first collection of matching parent and child clothes this season to satisfy customers’ requests – floral dresses with a garden party feel that are stocked in Harrods. She says the appeal of matching clothes comes because childhood is fleeting. “Dressing alike becomes a way to freeze time and celebrate connection,” she believes. “I discovered this joy through my daughters. It filled me with pride to see myself reflected in them.
“Matching outfits go back to the early 20th century when families often dressed alike to show formality and social status. In Spain, sibling matching has been part of everyday life for generations, reflecting a lifestyle where family values are proudly on display – traditional, timeless, and inherently elegant. In recent years, there’s been a fun, contemporary twist from the US with mini-me dressing. I see it not as a new trend, but as an evolution of something deeply rooted in heritage.”
I like the idea of ‘inherently elegant family values’. So we experiment, trying on floral blue outfits. When I say we, I mean me, Astrid and Juno. Xavi has matching plain blue shorts in his wardrobe so colour coordinates. Mark refuses to join in, even though I iron a similar-coloured-blue shirt, marking the ironing board’s first outing since 2023. “It’s try-hard,” he suggests. “Would you wear matching his-and-hers clothes?” I ask, thinking of both our raincoats, which are, by chance, bright yellow. “No way,” he says emphatically.
Juno, two, finds it genuinely exciting that our clothes match. I’m more uptight in our smart threads, fretting about staining her £79 dress as we eat lollies. Later, as we’re about to head for the local beach, I wonder if we’ll get comments about how sweet the children look. But before we get out of the front door, Astrid, eight, who describes her style as “shorts-and-a-t-shirt”, gets changed. “I want to look like me,” she explains. “Shall we try it as a one-off?” I suggest. “No thanks, I don’t feel like me.” I’m proud of her.
For our next foray into matching styles, we all dress in denim. Suddenly, everyday wear feels like fancy dress: we look like B*Witched. We find it really funny and all love the novelty of quadruple denim at home, in much the same way as I love matching pyjamas at Christmas: it makes staying in an event but we wouldn’t dream of leaving the house without getting changed.
The next time we try coordinating our look, it’s for dinner on holiday, choosing matching shades rather than mini-me styles. Apparently, this is even more on trend. Susan Kennedy, buying manager for childrenswear at John Lewis, tells me: “This year it’s all about complimenting and coordinating, rather than exact like-for-like matches. Whether similar patterns or twinning tones, we’re seeing a rise in families embracing coordinated looks. Not only does it look absolutely adorable, but there’s something extra special about bonding with your family over a shared look.”
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Here, my trusty if-we’re-in-a-supermarket-it-counts-as-the-grocery-budget clothing habit delivers – thank you, Sainsbury’s. I have an orange dress, which coordinates with a Grecian-style white dress with embroidered lemons of Astrid’s – one of the few dresses she makes an exception for – and an orange and white checked dress of Juno’s. They cost £40 combined. Add in orange shark shorts Xavi owns already, and it’s clear we’ve given consideration to our look.
We all feel ourselves and I’m surprised how much I enjoy the feeling of connection through our clothing. We take photos and they feel curated. I question my motives: am I doing this for photos or for the connection? Is it a tiny bit narcissistic?
Psychologist Dr Sarah Davies, author of Raised by Narcissists, reassures me the main reason for dressing children in matching outfits is because it’s cute. “I saw a woman and her young daughter in a matching blue and white linen outfit the other week and just had to tell them how adorable they looked,” she says. “That’s why many designers offer matching outfits. I’ve been guilty of having a matching hoodie with my dog years ago – probably wouldn’t do it again now. A matching outfit fosters a sense of connection and belonging.”
Narcissistic parents, she explains, view their children as an extension of themselves. “They rely on their children looking good or dressing a certain way in order to help them look or feel good,” she explains. “Dressing your child in the same coordinated outfit can be fun. It can be a sign of narcissism if a parent is being controlling or emotionally manipulative, if they guilt-trip the child for wanting to wear something else or punish with silent treatment, withdrawal of privileges, affection or attention.
“Positive parenting means age-appropriately supporting a child to make their own choices. Choosing clothes is a wonderful way to do this: you can help support decision-making, gently nudge them to consider outcomes such as weather, support them to build confidence in their choices, and respect their boundaries. This helps develop children’s confidence and self-trust.”
Psychologist Dr Robyn Koslowitz, author of Post-Traumatic Parenting, agrees: “There’s something cozy about creating a family look for a specific purpose – maybe a family trip where we all coordinate outfits to signify group membership and belonging. I think where I’d ask a parent to check themselves is when one kid wants to wear something different, what’s the parent’s reaction? Is there any space made for a child not opting into the matching look?”
While I wouldn’t normally think of coordinating clothes for the beach, I’ll definitely consider it for special occasions, like the Bat Mitzvah we’re going to next month, if all the children are on board. As Celia Muñoz says: “There’s a window of time when your child genuinely wants to dress like you. It is a short chapter, so my advice is to embrace it.”
I’m very conscious, though, that we might already be onto the next chapter.